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March 8th, 2012
 | 01:00 pm - Mantra
Everything will be okay.
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February 21st, 2012
 | 03:15 pm - Cats: The Game
I accidentally invented a game this weekend. I'm pretty sure it's going to be the Next Big Thing.
What you do is, you get down on your hands and knees and you pretend to be a cat. You say meow a lot.
Then you do cat things.
You could...purr.
You could...chase the other cats.
You could...pretend to drink out of the cupcake pot.
You could...pretend to bat around a toy on the floor (such as cars or spatulas).
You could...chase the other cats.
You could...chase the other cats.
You could...chase the other cats.
You could try to stop playing because your knees are 33 years old and are starting to hurt from the cat game.
You could TRY, but you can't stop, because "Mommmm, this is FUN. DON'T stop being a cat, Mom. Meow. Meow."
I have to say, though, it is super cute when Sidrah follows Emilia (and me) around saying "meow." She's such a little kittenbear.
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February 7th, 2012
 | 02:46 pm - What's New at Sillyliss.com
I keep forgetting to post over here when I update ye olde (new) blog at sillyliss.com. Maybe it's partially that I don't want you to feel obligated. Mostly it's just that I forget to tack it onto whatever private-y subject I'm engaged in.
So in case you missed it and didn't want to miss it (I'm looking at you,  ___________!):
Rockstar Part II -- Rocking with Kami -- meet Z's cousin Kami in an interview by Z himself. Also, see the world's largest rocking chair and get a recipe for tuna goop.
Mad Mosaics -- Emilia and I go art-crazy.
Coffee in a Carton -- I open my pantry for a Scooby Snack.
Haiku Review of Lolita -- My take on Lolita in five, then seven, then five syllables.
Or you could just go to sillyliss.com and scroll, scroll, scroll.
Or you could just keep scrolling now past this whole post.
And I'm done.
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January 27th, 2012
 | 12:02 pm - Writer's Block: ONTD Games Giveaway
I will go with Inky from Pac-man. I think he would have my back. If I could cheat, I think Pinky, Blinky, Inky, and Clyde would ALL be my BFFs. We would be a ghostly gang, and with the addition of me, we would finally catch up with that cheesehead.
Does anyone else remember when Pac-man and Ms. Pac-man were in the lobbies of fine restaurants everywhere? Like Pizza Hut and Red Lobster? Those were the days.
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January 18th, 2012
January 9th, 2012
 | 02:06 pm - Giddyup
Couple things.
1. I have a new blog. I don't know why. I'm still going to be here for all my private stuff, but there for my public stuff.
2. I will spam you with the link when I post there.
3. The reason I have one there isssss: sillyliss.com! Boyoyoyoyoy. I think it's time has come.
4. I will be changing the header and hopefully touching stuff up so it looks nicer...eventually.
5. What should I name my new blog? And...go!
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January 7th, 2012
 | 11:12 am - How I'm Not Like My Mother
"Zeb, come over here." I hoped he could hear me because my voice was quivering.
"What? What's wrong?"
"Look. Look at this." I lifted up my arms to show him the under part.
My armpits were speckled with red. I was freaking out in my head, and possibly outside of my head as well.
Tentatively, Zeb reached out and touched the spots. Now one of the spots was on his finger. "Were you wearing a red sweater today?"
I looked at the top of the hamper, where my red sweater nestled atop the pile. "It's the sweater?" I had to be sure.
"Yeah," he said. "What did you think it was?"
"Blood," I said quietly, still mortified.
"Why would you have blood in your armpits?"
I didn't answer him, because I couldn't tell him that anything that seems weird about my body I immediately attribute to some incurable, terminal disease that has no treatment and perhaps is not even yet known to medical science.
I'm pretty sure if my mother had found red bits under her armpits, she would have said, "It's nothing." Growing up, it was always nothing with my mother. There were no broken bones or incisions requiring stitches. It was nothing, all the time. Now why can't I be more like that?
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January 6th, 2012
 | 11:52 am - Lord of the Playground
"Blake, no. You need to wait for Emilio to get off the slide before you come down. Emilio, let's go. Let's go, Emilio! Let's go!"
This is the sound of my mother, now known as my children's grandmother, giving playground instruction to kids she does not know at a park in downtown Portland.
This is the New York inflected-tone of my mother, now known as my children's grandmother, making sure that each child on the playground has a fair shot at The Big Slide, while the other parents sit on the sidelines quietly, right near me.
"Dominic, it's your turn next," my mother-now-known-as-my-children's-grandmother shouts up to the queue of awaiting children.
It comes so naturally to my mother. She has the perfect management skill set for dealing with the under-five crowd.
I may have inherited some great traits from my mother. I own her sarcasm. I definitely have her attitude. I have taken her view of the world and made only the most minor of adjustments, then called it my own. I share her humor, her spirit, her pep, her quirkiness, her mojo, her artiness, her puzzleness, her love of justice, her love of lending a hand when someone really needs you. Oh, and my brother says I look like her, though I only wish I did, but that was nice of him to say.
Anyway, what I didn't get was her early childhood playground leadership skills. I want them. I want to be That Mom. And later, I want to be the mom that sits around with my girls' tweenager friends and says, "All right, let's all discuss our periods." I want to be the mom who shouts across the kitchen and into the phone, "he'll know it's the right house because he'll see a bra hanging from one of our trees outside." If I didn't get the playground-ability, will I get the rest of it? Will it come naturally to me?
Because I also didn't get the thing where you are able to put babies to sleep in a single bound. Because my babies don't sleep ever. And I'm too tired to finish this post.
So I'll end with this: it's Emilia's turn to go down the Big Slide and there is nobody around to stick up for her. I guess I have some big shoes to fill.
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January 5th, 2012
January 2nd, 2012
 | 03:33 pm - The Soul Outside
Emilia was going to give her Dad a kiss on his soul, but she realized she didn't know where his soul is. "Where is your soul, Mommy?"
I told her it's inside you, "your essence, your being, your Katra." I put my finger on her forehead and said, "It's in here."
"No!" she whipped back at me, covering her forehead with her hands. "My soul is not in here. It's on the outside. My soul is on the outside."
Then she kissed her Dad on his soul and went away to build a Goblin City out of blocks.
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December 30th, 2011
 | 12:15 pm - Goodreads
Now I'm on goodreads, thanks to the recommendation from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) thesaturdaygirl. Come find me if you're o'er there.
Home now with two "sick" kids. Sidrah is dancing and Emilia is eating pretzels. We all need a nap.
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December 29th, 2011
 | 03:58 pm - Books Read in 2011
Sheesh, I wish I would have kept track. I know it was not 500 books (hello, collectonian!), but it seems like the list should be longer than that.
- Popco - Scarlett Thomas
- The Reader - Bernhard Schlink
- Cry the Beloved Country - Alan Paton
- Sarah's Key - Tatiana de Rosnay
- Major Pettigrew's Last Stand - Helen Simonson
- The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane - Katherine Howe
- The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova
- Lift - Kelly Corrigan
- The Help - Kathryn Stockett
- Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen
- Room - Emma Donoghue
- The Magician's Assistant - Ann Patchett
- Carter Beats the Devil - Glen David Gold
- The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver
- Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Niffenegger
- Anne Frank: The Anne Frank Authorized Graphic Biography - Sid Jacobson
- Everything Is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer
- The Girl Who Chased the Moon - Sarah Addison Allen (YA)
- Super Sad True Love Story - Gary Shteyngart
- The Hour I First Believed - Wally Lamb
- Diary - Chuck Palahniuk
- The Bad Seed - William March
Now for some books I want to read in 2012. Please feel free to give me more recommendations. This is just a game plan of books that look interesting to me.
In the Image - Dana Horn (already started it)
Lord of the Flies - William Golding (if I can finish it in time, a local book club is talking about it on January 18 -- but I don't own the book yet, and I've never read it before)
The Book Thief - Markus Zusak (YA)
Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher (YA)
The Tiger's Wife - Tea Obreht
11/22/63 - Stephen King (everybody's doing it)
We Were the Mulvaneys - Joyce Carol Oates is literally on my bookshelf waiting to be read
Shit My Dad Says - Justin Halpern (I like real stuff)
Year of Wonders - Geraldine Brooks (or any of her other books)
1Q84 - Haruki Murakami (anyone read this? is it good?)
The Go-Between - L.P. Hartley (heard about it on NPR)
A book that I can't remember the name but the cover has a stack of books and it has "book" somehow in the title (any ideas?) -- oh it looked good, too. Darn.
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December 20th, 2011
 | 02:43 pm - Emilia's Greatest Hits
Emilia loves to talk on the phone. She has started to figure out the nuances to polite conversation. For instance, it is not necessarily considered courteous to end your conversation with your grandmother with, "I don't want to talk anymore. Bye."
I can tell that she is picking up on phone jargon by the way in which she engages her telepartner with the proper "mm-hmm"s and "oh"s and "uh-huhs."
Here's what's on her Most Played list:
- Did you have dinner yet?
- Is it dark at your house?
- What's your favorite color?
- That's Sidrah crying. Can you hear her?
- We went to the yogurt store 'esterday.
- Do you like yogurt?
- Will you go to the yogurt store with me?
- Do you have a baby at your house?
- You should have a baby at your house.
- And a big girl.
- Are you coming to our new house for my birthday?
- My birthday is in March.
- Remember when I went on the train to Tober?
- I ate macaroni and cheese for dinner.
- With peas.
- And ketchup.
Sometimes I just sit on the sofa while she is on the phone and I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. While Sidrah cries. Can you hear her?
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December 18th, 2011
 | 03:32 pm - Lights for Emilia
Star of David lights from Target. Emilia loves Christmas lights (so do I) and she keeps asking if we can have lights at our house. So...here we go. Am I less of a Grinch now? Just for a second, because...
Our Target has a big "blue" section called "Hanukkah cards." There is only *one* Hanukkah card in the big blue section. The rest of the cards are New Year's cards and religious Christmas cards. I feel like they should just have a big arrow that says, "Hanukkah Card Here. This is it. No choices for you." You literally have more choices for what your dog would say to you about his thoughts on Christmas via a $4 greeting card than you do about Hanukkah. There is a whole section of Christmas - Pet cards, as well as Christmas - Boss cards.
Actually, I don't buy Hanukkah cards for people (maybe the lack of market correlates to the lack of section?). I was thinking of buying one for Zeb for his super secret doesn't-know-about-it Hanukkah present (or maybe it's a solstice present, I haven't decided). Either way, the one Hanukkah card (and zero solstice cards) didn't do it for me.
But now we have lights.
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December 15th, 2011
 | 11:59 am - Not so Brite
This morning, in Chippy the Elf-style, I found Rainbow Brite looking a bit...laid out. I was hoping she was only planking (she's doing it wrong, though);
alas, Emilia felt for a heartbeat...
...and found none. Poor little Brite. You just lay there and rest for a while.
Everything is going to be okay.
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December 14th, 2011
 | 12:34 pm - Distractions
So...I quit Farmville. This is a good thing, right?
It leaves me more time for:
- worrying
- sticking my foot in my mouth
- nesting dolls
I believe I need a new hobby.
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December 13th, 2011
December 8th, 2011
 | 08:46 pm - You Know You're Addicted to Ebay When...
I get a lot of packages. This is no joke, like a few a week, and sometimes two in one day.
On the way home from work, Z said to me, "You know, you got three packages today." I tried to downplay it, because I am pretty sure he thinks I have some sort of gambling addiction to eBay or something. So I think I replied, "kind of chilly out there tonight" or similar.
Got home and saw my three boxes on the table. I hustled them into the bedroom so they wouldn't be quite so obvious. "Ooh," I couldn't help but observe aloud, "one of these is from French Lick, Indiana." No reply from the Z-man, so I repeated myself in an attempt to give him some titillating trivia. "French Lick, Indiana," I emphasized. Nothing. Apparently, he was like cooking dinner and taking care of babies at the same time.
( French Lick, Indiana, I repeated. )
After the quiche was all eaten, the kids settled into their crazytime routine in the living room. That's when I quietly hauled my three boxes back into the living room so I could stealthily open them without pomp and circumstance. I scissored through a typical white mailing label, the one from French Lick, Indiana, in fact. Inside, a nicely bubble wrapped package. This eBayer would be getting a good rating from me, I could tell already!
There was a note on top. I've seen a lot of strange notes. This one said "INVOICE" at the top, which is also kind of typical, even being handwritten. In fact, one Russian woman sent me a long letter, even, inside a holiday card. So this handwritten invoice was not all that strange, except:
"Zeb, oh my gosh, this is soooo creepy. This person's handwriting looks just like yours." Over the ruckus in the living room, I heard no reply except for the laughter of three monsters chasing each other around the pontoon sofa. "This is seriously creepy!" I repeated. It was JUST LIKE his handwriting.
( This is seriously creepy. )
I pulled out the nesting doll and unbubble-wrapped it. It was...blank nesting dolls. My mind started to race. Did I order these? Is my addiction so far gone that I don't even know what I've ordered anymore? I actually had a moment of panic as I stared at the blank nesting doll set. I turned it over in my hand. That is when I noticed the price tag on it that said $6.99. Yet the invoice said something different. I looked back at it. $100? What the...??
( Did I order these? )
Wait a second. "HEY!" I shouted in a moment of sudden understanding. This package is from Heywood Jablome and there is no postage on it. The invoice is creepily like Z's handwriting because it IS Z's handwriting. Z was on the floor laughing like a hyena. ...I was, too.
He got me.
Yep, I am a serious addict.
( The other two nesting dolls that came today are seriously my two new favorites. They are just too cool. )
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December 2nd, 2011
 | 01:24 pm - Nesting Dolls
Confession of the moment: I'm still on eBay looking at nesting dolls. I'm only telling you that because I *have* to show you these.
( Shut up, Rose! )
I might add more later. I love looking at nesting dolls. I am so hooked on this.
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November 22nd, 2011
 | 12:08 pm - Hand Turkeys 2011
Presenting our family's 2011 hand turkeys!
( Just in time for Thanksgiving... )
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November 21st, 2011
| 12:30 pm - Three Star Childhood Moments Mastery
Hey look! I'm guest posting on blogs now. I am destined to be famous! ... Don't make fun of me.
Emilia wrote a new song this weekend. It's to the tune of Knick Knack Paddy Whack.
This old man. He played one. He played Farmville on my thumb.
With a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone.
This old man plays Farmville at home.
Okay. You can make fun of me now.
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November 8th, 2011
November 4th, 2011
 | 04:56 pm - Meme with Bonus Points
Haven't done a meme in forever. Feel free to get creative with your answers. Bonus points if they are REALLY off base.
Stole this from everyone and their dog (okay, just Ange - but at least I faithfully copied everything in her entire post. Everythingggg. Except as noted and British spellings because.)
Here are a number of questions for you - can you answer them? How well do you know me? Do you have ANY of these answers? I'll even SCORE YOU!
IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS do not fret - try anyways. I like these things, they're FUN!
00-19 Points; ★ Crappy Stalker or New Stalker
20-49 Points; ★★ Stalker-In-Training
50-59 Points; ★★★ Decent Stalker
60-69 Points; ★★★★ Hard-Working Stalker
70-75 Points; ★★★★★ Creeper Stalker!
01. My name (1 pts)
02. My last name (3 pts)
03. Where does my name come from (4 pts)
04. What celebs am I crushing over (3 pts)
05. Who are my best friends and how do I know them (5 pts)
06. What is my favorite mode of transportation (5 pts)
07. What is my current job (1 pt)
08. Something that I am afraid of (3 pts)
09. What instrument(s) do I play/want to play (2 pts)
10. Have I drank alcohol/smoked before (2 pts)
11. What is my favorite animal (2 pts)
12. When was I born (month/day/year) (2 pts)
13. What culture/nationality do I associate myself most with (changed it because I didn't understand the wording) (1 pt)
14. What is my favorite video game (4 pts)
15. How many piercings have I had (3 pts)
16. Name a song that I love (3 pts)
17. Am I shy or outgoing (3 pts)
18. What do I do outside of work (3 pts)
19. What is my ideal job (2 pts)
20. Name something I hate (4 pts)
21. Name one talent I have (3 pts)
22. What is something I obsess about (changed that one, Ange! I have no fandoms) (4 pts)
23. What is the color of my new sofa (changed that one, too, because my bedding?) (5 pts)
24. Name a movie or tv show character that I love (5 pts)
25. If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring (3 pts + CREATIVE PTS)
Comments are screened...for now.
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November 3rd, 2011
| 08:28 pm - Playdate!
I am king of the world! I am the champion, my friends. I am woman; hear me roar. I'm gonna rock you like a hurricane. I'm rough and stuff with my cocoa puffs. You are the sun; I am the moon. You are the words; I am the tune. Play me.
Today was so successful. And not just because I squelched about a thousand different binder emergencies (emergency binders!), but because I have done what has never been done in the history of the Earth (I am pretty sure) and that thing is:
I have scheduled a play date for my daughter.
Wait, wait, hold your applause.
Okay, no, go ahead. Standing ovation? Why, thank you.
So, I formulated this whole awesome intro to the playdate in my head, and I actually was able to say it out loud, and Aerna's mom said yes! Not just yes, but she seemed actually pretty excited about it! And Aerna was excited about it! And Emilia was so excited that she was bordering on whiny.
Saturday morning playdate!
...What does one serve at a playdate? Fresh fruit? Pate? Goldfish crackers? Do I need to plan activities, or can I just let the girls run around like crazy while Aerna's mom and I sit on the sofa uncomfortably? Maybe I should write out some topics to talk to her mom about on index cards. Does that sound normal?
I'm king of the world!
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October 21st, 2011
| 11:45 am - The Occupation
Yesterday we walked through the city park blocks in front of the city capitol building where Occupy Portland is taking place. I was astonished at the enormity and community and fellowship we saw in conditions that made me cringe. I took some pictures.
( Welcome to the Occupation )
If you live near an occupation, I would love to see some pictures of what it's like near you. Watching the local news, the actual occupation was nothing like what is being portrayed, since the news only features the most sensational elements ("someone was arrested for drugs"; "girl went missing from Kids' Camp"; "Seven Eleven raking in the occupation dough"; etc.), so local pictures if you have them would be awesome.
I know thesaturdaygirl attended the Wall Street rally, and my parents have been making frequent visits to the Portland one. Anyone else attend anything?
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October 19th, 2011
 | 09:55 pm - Hot Chocolate
A series of pictures taken by my mother of me at our annual Girls' Night Out to Melting Pot for dessert.
( When there's no napkins, sugar packets will do. )
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October 17th, 2011
 | 08:49 am - The Lessening Element of Surprise
Today is my mother's birthday. Sidrah's birthday is two days earlier than hers, so when we planned this trip, I asked her how we should celebrate the two birthdays and she didn't seem to want to make big plans for her own birthday. I talked to my brother about this and we decided we should definitely do something. We decided on surprising her with lunch out with all her children and grandchildren (that would be the six of us, plus her and Dad), then back to Mom and Dad's place for a while.
I insisted that we needed to tell my mother that we had something planned for her. My brother thought that would ruin any attempt at surprise, and that we should pretend that we had totally forgotten her birthday and SURPRISE! WE DIDN'T!
The problem is, my brother wanted to show up at 1 p.m. to take her to lunch, and Dad and I were wondering how we were going to explain our lack of eating whatever she insisted on preparing while maintaining the surprise theme. "Sorry, can't eat. Terrible stomach cramps." "Not hungry. Nope, not hungry yet. Nope, not hungry yet. Nope, not hungry yet." "You know what? I ate while you weren't looking. And you did, too."
Plus, part of the fun is the anticipation, right?
And Mom will still be surprised by XXXXXX and XXXXXX, just not XXXXXX.
Shhh, don't mention any of this to oregana. It's a surprise.
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October 16th, 2011
 | 11:02 pm - Surprise!
Help me settle this debate. Is a surprise still a surprise if you tell the person you are surprising that there will be a surprise but not reveal the specifics of the surprise?
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 | 08:44 am - What Sidrah Likes at 12 Months
Things Sidrah Likes and Does at 12 Months of Age:- Points at objects and people and says "wuzzat?" or "whozzat?"
- Walks 99% of the time.
- Abhors diaper changes. Has an average of five to six dirty diapers a day.
- Tried to blow out her own birthday candles.
- Took her first trip across the country on the train.
- Loves having her hair combed.
- Loves drinking water, playing in water, bathtime, rain.
- Is addicted to her friend the bottle.
- Still eats a lot of paper. Possibly for the fiber content.
- Still eats a lot of actual, real food. Loves to eat. She's a foodie.
- Fits into 12 month outfits, except that the legs are always too long.
- Loves apples on the core, goldfish crackers, and any food she can score off her sister.
- Likes taking things out of boxes and putting them back in. Is starting to figure out the shape sorter.
- Loves music, especially when she is the one playing it.
- Loves shoes. The velcro is the best part.
Oh, and if you are interested, the story of the cake and my first home perm.
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 | 07:45 am - Train Story
When we woke up on the train about 1/10th of the way to our final destination and Emilia whined, "Are we there yet? I want Grandma Renee and Papa Charlie. I want Grandma Renee and Papa Charlie RIGHT NOW," I knew the next 1000 miles were going to be a real trial of my patience. None of the toys I bought and brought were interesting for more than a minute. Sidrah climbed on and fell off the furniture. The bathroom toilet made everybody scream and sob. There were several accidents that required multiple changes of clothes. There were more "are we there yets" than the cosmos should really allow. Emilia managed to eat nothing but dairy and drink nothing but orange juice until the train ran out of orange juice and she became outraged at the alternate options of "apple juice" or "water."
Two kids on a train for 32 hours. Man, that is quite a trip.
At one point, the kids were both out of drink products, so I stepped out of our room to the beverage station, where I could hear Sidrah's hysterical screams start the moment I disappeared from sight and Emilia trying to comfort her sister by yelling at the top of her voice for Sidrah to stop crying.
This time, however, it was quiet. So blissfully quiet. I had left the room telling Emilia, "You're in charge until Mom gets back. Be nice to your sister." Emilia loves being in charge. Sidrah loves screaming when I leave. We had developed a pattern.
It was so quiet that I decided to make myself the first cup of coffee I had had in 1,000 miles. I stirred in cream and sugar. I whirled the stirrer around the cup slowly. It was so quiet in our room that I sighed with relief. This was the best moment of the train ride, after the few minutes I got both children to sleep simultaneously. I took my time. I enjoyed the peace.
Then I returned to the room right beside me. I pulled open the blue curtain.
There were my two children, quietly playing on the floor. With all of the contents of my purse. Emilia was opening my wallet and removing items one by one. Sidrah had my checkbook, which, conveniently, made a yummy, drooly snack. Papers were strewn everywhere about our tiny room. That moment of peace was moderately expensive. I would probably do it again, though.
Plus, we were about 10 or 15 "are you there yets" from Portland. And by then, I had built up my patience and had succumbed to the swishing in my head from the train.
I also learned on this train trip that Sidrah is capable of sleeping through the night. The secret is constant, endless motion. If we lived on the train, she would be the best sleeper ever.
Are we there yet?
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